


For the First Time

by colour_outside_the_lines



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: Age Difference, Age Gap Crisis, Bisexual Female Character, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Friendship/Love, Mutual Pining, Sexuality, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:02:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24597190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colour_outside_the_lines/pseuds/colour_outside_the_lines
Summary: After a brief romance with Jeff leaves Annie feeling deflated, she goes to Britta for comfort. What starts out as a close friendship, begins to evolve into something more; however, both women must contend with barriers along the way.-----An AU set during season 3. Annie, Troy and Abed all already live together.
Relationships: Annie Edison & Britta Perry, Annie Edison & Jeff Winger, Annie Edison & Jeff Winger Mentioned, Annie Edison/Britta Perry
Comments: 13
Kudos: 30





	1. Last Kiss

**The title for this fic came from the song I Kissed a Girl by Jill Sobule.  
**

**The title for the chapter comes the Taylor Swift song Last Kiss**

* * *

  
**So we laughed, compared notes. We had a drink, we had a smoke-** **_Jill Sobule, I Kissed a Girl_ **

* * *

  
  


**Last Kiss**

  
Sixteen years. 

She knew that it was quite the age gap, and was a lot larger than what most people would consider average, or even appropriate for a couple, not that she cared too much about age gaps of other couples that she met. But the age gap between them was glaringly obvious, it would slap you in the face instantly when you looked at them. Annie knew that much, deep down she had always known that, everyone around them had always known it, too. 

But she had tried her hardest to not let it bother her before, she hadn’t let it bother her when she first saw him and felt her heart rate increase and her stomach do multiple flips; he had definitely bene the most attractive man that she had ever seen in her very young life, maybe even more attractive than Troy Barnes, a boy that she had been pining for since Freshman year of high school. 

She hadn’t let their age gap stand in the way of their first kiss, it had been one that was charged by her desire to win, no matter what the cost. She hadn’t let it bother her during their second kiss, one that had been charged by the tension that had been building ever since their first kiss. 

She most certainly hadn’t let it bother her when Jeff had gone to her with an offer that she hadn’t really been able to refuse, it was something that she had been wanting for the longest time. Once he had actually approached her about it, she definitely wasn’t going to let age stand in the way of them. After all, age was only a number, no matter how big that number might be. 

Their arrangement had been made a little over a year ago, in that time, a lot had changed, but much to Annie’s dismay, things between them had remained stagnant, their relationship never progressing to the next levels. 

Sixteen years. 

On paper they shouldn’t work, for countless reasons; Annie had a very Type A personality; she was capricious, determined, a helpless romantic, ambitious, and liked everything to be just so. She had been raised as a perfectionist, always being pushed to be and do better by her mother. Jeff Winger on the other hand couldn’t have been more different; he was aloof, egotistical, hated romance, he could often be arrogant, vain, and had been raised by his mother to believe he was better at everything than everyone. 

His arrogance and emotional distance had been the very things that had drawn Annie towards him, that had made him almost irresistible to her. No matter how hard she tried to fight against his cocky smile and charismatic nature, the more she fell for it. 

Maybe that’s why, sometimes, they _didn’t_ work, no matter how much Annie wanted them to work. No matter how hard she fought for things between them to be as perfect as everything else in her life was, she and Jeff just weren’t perfect. 

Some days, so many things between them would just feel… off somehow, and lately, it seemed to be happening more and more often than it had fourteen months ago. It felt like there was just something between them that hadn’t been there before. A sense of unease, always hanging right there, in the under current of their qusai-relationship. So much so, that even using that term of phrase didn’t sit right with Annie anymore. 

Saying those words left a very sour taste in her mouth, and made her feel uneasy in a way that she never had done around Jeff before. She had always felt comfortable with the older man, but lately, she felt like she was treading on eggshells, and she could tell he felt the same way around her. 

Sixteen years. 

It was something they never spoke about, something that Annie and Jeff had both point blank refused to talk about, no matter how many people told them that they needed to. Somewhere, deep down, Annie knew that having an age gap that big was something that you probably should talk about. But talking about it only made the difficulties, and the gravity of their age gap more apparent. Which, if she was being completely honest, was something that they had never wanted to talk or even think about. Annie would rather run and hide from the generational age gap between them, than actually face it. 

Despite them never talking about it to each other, or with any of their friends, it was something that everyone around them knew was an obvious issue. Though they had never verbalised it, Annie knew that everyone around them could sense the cracks that had started to form in the foundation that was Jeff and Annie’s complicated relationship. Whatever sexual tension, and chemistry that had initially driven them together, had not been enough to keep them afloat. 

Every time they were around each other, either with their friends, or alone, there was a tension that anyone would have been able to cut with a blunt, rusty knife A tension that no one dared mention at the risk of angering Jeff or upsetting Annie. On the surface they seemed happy, they told everyone that they were happy. Even if all of their friends knew better, it didn’t stop Annie and Jeff from lying to make things easier. 

Sixteen years. 

Despite their ages, they had both been naive to assume that the age difference between them would _never_ serve as an issue at all. Again, no one around them would mention it, even if they were all thinking it, and for that much, Annie had been very thankful for their friends. She didn’t need the constant reminders that she was the youngest of their small friendship circle. She often felt that, no matter how old she actually got, they would all still see her as nothing more than Little Annie Edison. 

She knew for a fact that’s how Pierce and Shirely saw her, and would often treat her. She had lost count of all the times that the pair of them had made her feel like nothing more than a child. 

Jeff had never made her feel that way. 

Annie had thought that having, whatever it was that she had with Jeff, would help with how other people would view her, too. She knew they all saw Jeff as something of the leader of their ‘study’ group, and would often turn to him for help and guidance with all their issues, even if he himself was only in his thirties. 

She had wholeheartedly believed that being in an adult relationship with someone who was much older than she was, would make her seem more grown up simply by association. She had hoped that as others looked to Jeff as something of a Greendale father, she would start to be seen as a Greendale mother. 

She had thought that being with an older man would give her more experience, would make her more ready to take on the world, and would hopefully, take away some of the innocent nature and appearance people had come to expect from her. 

But no such things had happened. 

If anything, it had only made her realise just how wildly different she and Jeff Winger actually were, in more ways than just being born into two different generations. Though they were in the same college, most of the same classes (especially this year, they had been driven by their mutual lust into taking the same classes as each other to spend even more time together,) and would be graduating at the same time, they were both at very different points in their life. 

The fact that they both wanted very different things for their futures, had made it very clear to them both, that whatever they were had a very obvious expiration date. 

Sixteen years. 

She had thought that being with a man who was nearing the age of forty would give her some sense of stability, comfort, security, and an obvious path for the future heading the direction of wedding bells and white picket fences. But sometimes, their maturity levels were on two completely different ends of the spectrum. There were times when Annie couldn’t even tell which one of them was the most mature. 

During the fourteen months that they had been hooking up, they had both displayed a plethora of moments of maturity and total and utter immaturity. 

Of course, Jeff had more life experience, in a lot of different areas, and because of that there were days when Annie was left feeling like a child compared to him. He had worlds of knowledge that she was yet to acquire, and of course, there were the times when he would talk about the many things in his childhood and what it had been like to grow up in the 80s. There were times when Annie would be completely lost in their conversations and would have know idea what he was even talking about.

Annie had been mind blown the day that Jeff mentioned remembering when the internet was invented, she had known it was a more recent invention, but in her twenty-one years, she had started to take things for granted, and she couldn’t imagine life without them. 

But then there were times when Annie seemed the most mature, times like this, when she was months away from being twenty-one-years old, but she had so much more planned for her future than her male counterpart who was sixteen years her senior. 

At one time, he had been a hot shot lawyer, with a bright future, of course, all that had been lost when his bachelor degree was found to be fake. Since then, he’d had only one plan for his future, to graduate from Greendale, become a lawyer once more and then to live his life as any single man in his late thirties would. 

Annie was so much more prepared for any type of future that they could potentially have together, any future that Annie wanted them to have- Jeff had never been ready for anything like that. He never seemed ready for anything that involved him taking on any real responsibility or commitment. 

He had never wanted to put a label on them, but Annie had been hopeful that as time went by for them, he would change his mind about her, about them. But as more times passed the harder she began to fall for him, while Jeff became even more of the stoic, aloof, and distant man he had always been. 

At first, she had seen it as nothing more of a challenge, a challenge she had been more than willing and ready to take on. After all, it wasn’t often that Annie Edison lost a challenge. 

But as every day went by he would seem to spiral closer and closer to what could only be classed as a mid-life crisis, and sometimes, Annie would catch herself wondering if their situationship had been a product of Jeff’s spiralling to begin with. 

Especially days like this, days when all the tension they had been feeling for weeks would come crashing down around them. Feelings being spilled everywhere as Jeff made the revelation that he had once again slept with another woman. 

It wasn’t the first time that something like this had happened between them, there had been countless other occasions where Jeff had dated someone else, or slept with someone else, but none of them had ever left her feeling like this. This was the first time it had ever hurt Annie. The one time that had made her stomach knot up in a mixture of pain and nausea, the one time that had made a sickly lump creep up her throat, edging nearer and nearer to her mouth. 

It was the one time that his actions had chipped away at her heart. 

She knew that she couldn’t really be mad with him. They weren’t a couple, and she knew that. She knew that in reality, her acting this way was futile, he hadn’t betrayed her, he hadn’t cheated on her, not really anyway. He had simply acted how any single person was allowed to act. 

Annie knew that, if she’d wanted to, she could have acted the same way. The difference was, she didn’t want to act the same way. She didn’t even want to be able to class herself as a single woman. 

The pair of them had been fighting for the better part of four hours, their conversation always looping back to the other women that Jeff had slept with during the fourteen months that they had been hooking up. 

She knew she should expect it, she and Jeff were just friends, and in their little arrangement they had always agreed to have full disclosure between them. She had just thought that by now, Jeff would have ended this bachelor lifestyle he’d been living for most of his life. 

Jeff heaved out a heavy sigh as he looked down at the shorter woman standing in front of him, her jaw clamped tight, her eyes icy and cold, a way that Jeff had never seen them before. “So this is it then?” He asked with a small shrug, the exasperation evident in his tone of voice. 

It was plain to see that he was done with this fight. He was done with talking about their issues, and everything that had been mounting up between them for the last couple of weeks. Fourteen months, and a four hour long conversation had led them to this. A quasi-break-up. 

Annie hadn’t thought that this fight would last as long as it had, none of their other fights ever had, and if they were being honest, they’d had more fights than two people not in a relationship with each other should have had. But none of their other fights had ever been of this magnitude. She had thought that, just like usual, Jeff would apologise for what he’d done, as would she, and then they would move on from whatever issues they’d been having, have a few rounds of make-up sex and then be back to normal. 

She had never expected anything like this to happen. She hadn’t wanted it to happen either. Just like everything else in her life, she had wanted this relationship to be perfect, unfortunately, for Annie, their situation had been anything but perfect. 

Or at least, it had never been Annie’s definition of perfect. 

Annie nodded her head slowly, “Yeah, I guess so,” she admitted, “I don’t see how we can come back from this, Jeff,” She took a deep shaky breath. “You really hurt me this time.” 

“I didn’t think you’d care this much,” He shrugged, “You haven’t any other time, I told you when we first started this that I didn’t want a relationship, and that I wanted to maintain the lifestyle that I had before. You said you were okay with that, and that you wanted that too.” 

Annie nodded her head slowly, “Yeah I did, because when we first started doing this I was okay with that, and I did want that, too,” She sighed, “But the longer we kept doing this, the more I started to want something more than that. I thought that after a year maybe you’d want more too.” 

She had hoped that in the fourteen months they had been doing this, that he would have changed his mind. More to the point she had hoped that she could change _him_ , she had wanted to change him for a while, to wear that badge of honour, being able to make Jeff Winger settle down. Being able to turn an emotionally distant, and unavailable man into the perfect boyfriend. 

She would admit, the part of her that longed to change men like Jeff, was a part of herself that she didn’t like all that much. It was also the part of her that seemed in control of her hormones, and would always send her into the arms of men that would never want anything more than casual sex. 

The only man who had ever wanted more with her had been Vaughn, but at that time, Annie hadn’t been willing to leave Greendale and her friends to have a relationship with him. 

Maybe because it had been too easy, he had actually wanted her. 

Jeff sighed and dropped onto his couch, pinching the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, “I don’t want that, Annie,” He shook his head slowly, “I’ve never wanted that from this. The few times that I had relationships I’ve always freaked out when things got a little too close for comfort,” He shrugged his shoulders, “Relationships just aren’t my thing… Not right now, at least.” 

“When do you think you will want a relationship?” She asked, before giving a halfhearted shrug, “Maybe I could wait for you?” She offered weakly, hating herself for even suggesting she would wait for any man. 

“I don’t know if I ever will,” He divulged, looking up at where the young woman stood, “I’m not going to ask you to wait for me. I could never ask you to do that. And I don’t want to make promises that I might not be able to keep. I don’t know why we can’t just keep this as a casual, physical thing, that’s what we both said we wanted. It works that way for us, Annie.” 

“But it doesn't, at least not anymore,” She replied, shaking her head, “It doesn’t work that way because I can’t keep doing this without wanting more with you. I am starting to have very real feelings for you Jeff, and I have for some time now, and it’s not fair to me to keep going with this when I want more than just sex… but it’s not fair for me to ask you to be in a relationship you don’t want.” 

He sighed, and pushed himself up from the couch, pulling her into a warm hug, “I am really sorry that I can’t give you what you want and deserve,” He mumbled, “You’re going to find someone who can though.” 

Annie Allowed herself to bask in his warm embrace for only a few seconds before pulling away and looking up at him. “I know you’re sorry, and I am sorry for how I’ve acted tonight. I know I’ll meet someone… And I really hope that you do, too.” 

“Friends?” He asked. 

Annie nodded her head slowly, “Always,” She smiled sadly up at him before grabbing her purse and heading for the door. She took a deep breath before looking over her shoulder once, to see him watching her with sad, blue eyes. She gave him another soft smile before leaving his apartment and heading towards her car. 

It was the first time in a long time that she had left Jeff Winger’s house feeling anything other than satisfied. 

Sixteen years. 

She knew that it was quite the age gap, but that had never stopped her being hopeful that Jeff Winger could be her happily ever after. But they were worlds apart, not just in age, but in maturity too; Annie always looking towards the future, while Jeff seemed so adamant to cling to his youth, and the bachelor lifestyle. 


	2. You Know You Can Count on Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title for this chapter came from the song, Count on Me by Bruno Mars

**You Know You Can Count on Me**

As soon as she was alone in her car, tears began to fall from her eyes, silent sobs racking through her body as she finally allowed herself to break down and succumb to the dull, aching feeling that clenched at her heart. She dropped her head back against the driver’s seat and took deep, calming breaths; in through her nose and out through her mouth, just as she had been taught to do in her rehab programme those years earlier. 

She wiped the tears from her cheeks, trying her hardest not to ruin her mascara and eyeliner more than it already was. She had always been told by her mother to never let a man ruin your mascara, and yet, here she was; crying over a man that had never really been hers in the first place.

She blinked the remaining tears from her eyes, clearing her vision slightly before she turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from Jeff’s street, willing herself not to stop and look back, or god forbid, actually go back and say that she’d changed her mind. 

She knew that this was the right decision for them both, no matter how much it might hurt her. Annie knew that she couldn’t stay with a man that she had no future with. 

No matter how much she might want him, and might want to be with him, she knew it just couldn’t happen; the longer she stayed with him and kept their little arrangement going, the more it would hurt when it inevitably ended. At least this way, she had ended things and had been able to leave with some sort of dignity, however small it might have been. 

She had been able to leave with her pride and her head held high knowing that she hadn’t catered to the whims of anyone else, she hadn’t changed her ideologies or begged anyone else to change theirs. 

For Annie, that was more important than she would like anyone else to know. 

There were a lot of things that Annie Edison would rather other people not know, like how she dreamed of finding _the one_ , that she believed in soul mates, and dreamed of having the picture perfect romance, like something from a fairy tale, or that she fantasised about going to Disney Land and simply holding someone’s hand, (a fact about her that she had told _very_ few people). 

She had allowed Jeff to see these sides of her, despite them never really leaving friendship territory, and had simply tacked benefits into their friendship, they’d definitely done their fair share of pillow talk, and she had allowed him to to see who she was in the dark, when no one else was around. 

She had opened up to him about things that she had never said out loud to anyone else before, and she wasn’t sure if she’d ever say it out loud again. It wasn’t an easy thing for her to do, not with the way that she had been brought up. 

Her mother had always tried to teach her and her brother to sweep any feelings and secrets under the rug, to simply move past things rather than clinging to it and letting it manifest into more than just a fleeting thought. Sometimes, she would catch herself wondering if, maybe, her mother had been right about everything. Maybe running and hiding from the vulnerable side of yourself really was for the best. 

The sound of a car horn honking aggressively pulled her from her musings, she looked up to see the green light in front of her, shining brightly, like a beacon in the dark. She quickly came to her senses and pressed her foot down on the peddle, just as the green light began to turn amber, she sped away before it had the chance to turn red. 

She only just caught the man in the car behind her flip her off as he got stuck behind the red light. She turned her mouth down slightly, as she continued to drive down the familiar road. She couldn’t help but wonder just how long she had been sitting there for before someone got tired of waiting and decided to pull her attention to it. 

She also couldn’t help but wonder how she had gotten so far into her journey without crashing, she hadn’t been paying attention to the road, she had been stuck in the labyrinth of her own thoughts. She had simply been running on auto pilot and only vaguely recognised the street she was heading onto. 

As she looked around her, she realised that she hadn’t been driving in the direction of her own home at all, and for that she was thankful, she didn't want to spend the night in her apartment, talking to Troy and Abed about what happened. 

As amazing as the two men were, she knew that they would both be utterly useless in a situation like this one. She knew that they would most likely suggest spending time in their dreamatorium to take her mind off of things. 

A room Troy and Abed spent most of their time in, but Annie had only been in a handful of times, not for Troy and Abed’s lack of trying. 

That wasn’t really an option for her right now, there was only one place she would want to imagine being, and it was there in his apartment with him, tangled together in his sheets, him holding her tightly, and his lips all over her body. But thinking about that would only make her feel worse than she already did. That being said, she hadn’t wanted to spend the night holed up in her room alone either. 

Even in her subconscious she knew that she didn’t have many options; she had never been all that popular in high school, her friends from rehab had drifted apart and were distant now that their circumstances had changed, that or some had unfortunately relapsed and found themselves back in the programme. 

She hadn’t made many friends at Greendale and had, for the first time in her life, found herself as part of the so-called ‘mean clique’ along with the rest of her study group, who just so happened to be her only friends right now, and some of her friends really were out of the question for countless reasons. 

Even when running on autopilot she knew she only had _one_ option, and the only option she had was someone that she probably shouldn’t be going to with this issue.

Britta had been cool enough to give Annie her blessing when it came to sleeping with Jeff, she had been sure to go to the older woman about it beforehand, (just like she had when Vaughn had first showed an interest in her too), but that didn’t mean that she’d be cool enough to comfort her now that things had ended. 

She could feel her heart pounding rapidly in her chest at the thought of showing up to Britta’s apartment, unannounced on her day off, but she couldn’t change it now, she knew Britta was the right choice, she had made that decision without really thinking about it. 

She gripped her steering wheel tightly, her already pale skin turning almost bone white, as anxiety flooded her body. It didn’t take her long to pull onto Britta’s street and pull up in front of the apartment building that she had only been to a handful of times. 

As she looked up at the window that she knew belonged to Britta, five floors up, three to the left, guilt flooded her body. She had no idea how to approach this, or even how Britta would react to her being there. 

She couldn’t help but think maybe she’d made the wrong choice, was it too late for her to turn her car around and go to someone else? She had already ruled Troy and Abed out, pierce had _never_ been an option in the first place, and if she was being honest about things, neither had Shirley.

There were a lot of issues that she would go to Shirley about, but this wasn’t one of them. She knew Shirley’s views on premarital sex, and right now she needed comfort, not judgement. She took one more deep, calming breath before shutting off her engine and stepping out of her car.

She neatened out her dress and began to walk towards the apartment building, her legs feeling a lot weaker than they had before. She pushed the door open, making her way into the dinghy building. 

She could feel her legs trembling as she stood in the elevator, riding it up to the fifth floor, regret and anxiety coursing through every vein in her body. Maybe condemnation from Shirley wouldn’t be as bad as what she was about to receive from Britta.

Once again her body seemed to be working on auto pilot, pushing her towards the apartment. She could feel her hand shaking as she tried to make a fist to knock on the wooden door. 

She closed her eyes as her hand knocked on the door once, quickly followed by another, and then another. Annie didn’t stop knocking until Britta answered the door. When she pulled it open, Annie’s hand continued to knock in the air, the momentum and speed at which she had been knocking, combined with the abruptness of Britta opening the door had made it hard for her to stop. 

Her hand stopped in midair when she saw the older woman prepared with a baseball bat, and a fearful look in her blue eyes, that seemed to soften the instant she saw the brunette woman. 

“Annie?” She asked, “What are you doing here?” 

“I really need to talk to you about something,” She replied, her voice shakier than usual as the tears threatened to spill over her eyes once more. Britta’s eyes scanned her face before she nodded slowly and stepped to the side, allowing Annie to walk into the small studio apartment. 

She dropped onto Britta’s bed and began to cry silently, breaking down for the second time that night. She had no idea how long this could or even would go on for. She didn’t want to cry anymore that night. Twice was more than enough. 

Britta placed the bat by the door and gingerly stepped towards her. She hadn’t ever seen Annie this torn up over anything before, she had seen her emotional, they had all seen her emotional quite a few times. But this was different, both Britta and Annie knew that. 

“Are you sure that you want to talk to me about this?” Britta asked, “Wouldn’t you rather talk to Shirley, or y’know, Jeff?” Annie could tell by the tone of her voice that she wasn’t being malicious, and it wasn't that she didn’t want to help her, she just didn’t know how, Annie knew that. Britta had never been the best at girl talk.

She could already tell that Britta was going to be taken aback by the subject of Annie’s issues, and she wouldn’t blame Britta if she didn’t want to help her and just asked her to leave. They had been caught up in something of a love triangle for some time now. 

“Actually,” Annie replied, drawing out the word ever so slightly, never looking up from her feet, “I can’t talk to him about it, because this is about him… well, it’s about me and him,” She admitted, looking up and giving Britta a small, guilty smile.

“What about you two?” She asked, a hint of jealousy inching its way into her voice, Annie didn’t miss it, she couldn’t have missed it even if she’d have tried to. “I thought that what you had with him was starting to actually turn into something, I have never known Jeff stay with one person for so long.”

Britta tilted her head slightly and looked at the younger woman sitting beside her, she was trying her hardest to handle this situation the best that she could. Annie knew that she didn’t have much experience with this type of stuff, but then again neither did she. There’d been her high school boyfriend who she’d dated briefly, Vaughn, and now, Jeff.

“Annie,” Britta started, her tone much more serious now, “You’re not pregnant are you? Because if you are then you can tell me and as your friend I will stand by you, no matter you choose. Remember; your body, your choice.”

She was thankful to have someone as understanding as Britta in her life, and thought that the world would definitely be better with more people like her in it. 

She shook her head slowly, “No. No, I’m not pregnant,” She replied sighing, “I thought that everything between us going so great… maybe even perfect?” She shrugged, “But lately, I’d noticed things that I didn’t like. Things that didn’t feel right between us, for a lot of reasons, Britta,” She admitted her voice barely above a whisper, “That and the fact that we’re two completely different people,” she sniffled loudly, and wiped away the last remaining tears from her face. “He slept with someone else a few nights ago, and while I know I shouldn’t be upset or mad about it, I still am. We talked some things out and I wanted to make things official but he just wanted to keep things between us casual so he could stay single and play the field.” 

“I thought that you both wanted the same thing? I mean, that’s what you both always say, right?” Britta asked, her voice soft. 

Annie nodded her head slowly, “I did, at first,” Annie admitted, nodding her head slowly, “I really wanted that at first, but not now, not after a year of us sleeping together.” 

Britta nodded her head slowly and sighed, “Yeah, physical relationships between friends can get really messy sometimes. I definitely wouldn’t recommend them to just anyone,” She admitted with a small chuckle. 

“And by that I am assuming you mean you wouldn’t recommend them to people like me?” Annie asked, she wasn’t hurt but the statement, she knew now that she wasn’t capable of having a solely physical relationship, and she was fine with that. 

Britta shook her head, “No, I didn’t mean that at all. I would recommend them to someone like you, depending on who you were planning on doing it with,” she explained, “But I wouldn’t recommend sleeping with Jeff to _anyone_. I know that I’d never go there again.” 

Annie chuckled quietly, and smiled at the older woman, “So you don’t think I’m an idiot for wanting more than just sex with a man like Jeff Winger?” 

Britta shook her head and moved closer to Annie, resting a gentle, comforting hand on her thigh, “No, Annie are you kidding me? _He’s_ the ideal for _not_ wanting more with someone like you,” She replied, “You’re not an idiot at all.” 

Annie turned her body slightly and wrapped her slender arms around Britta’s neck, smiling slightly when she felt Britta’s arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to her. “Thank you, I really needed to hear that,” Annie admitted, smile still on her face and she pulled away and looked at the blonde woman, “I thought that maybe I was the problem, and that I’m just some dumb, idealistic kid.”

“You are definitely none of those things, Annie, Jeff is just a mess, and honestly you’re so much better than he is,” Britta replied, “You deserve someone who is good enough for you and someone who is gonna give you everything that you want. Not some emotionally distant guy.”

“Do you think I’ll ever find that person?”

“I know you will,” Britta replied, there was a beat of silence before she spoke again, “You know what we need?” She asked, Annie shook her head slowly, “We need some alcohol.” 

* * *

They’d finished their second bottle of wine, and had passed by the hours by Annie talking about all the issues she and Jeff had been having for weeks now, and Britta listened and helped her when she could. It was now nearing midnight, and Annie was starting to feel a lot better than she had before. Hanging out with Britta had helped to take her mind off of how sad she felt, it also helped that she was able to laugh with Annie at Jeff’s expense, and the pair of them had definitely found a lot to laugh about. 

“I just wanna say thank you for tonight, I really, really appreciate it,” Annie said through slightly slurred speech, “I know that it was pretty wrong of me to come to you about this, but thank you all the same.”

Britta shook her, “What? You weren’t wrong to come to me,” She replied, “Annie I don’t want you to ever think you can’t come and talk to me about things because you definitely can.”

“I know that I usually can, but this is about Jeff, and I don’t know, I guess that I just felt really guilty,” She divulged with a halfhearted shrug. 

“Annie you don’t need to feel guilty. Yes I slept with Jeff a while back, and then you know, you slept with him too, but it’s really not a big deal. Jeff and I really were just casual sex, and we ended things mutually, no hard feelings or anything like that.” 

“I know, but still...” Annie started before Britta sloppily placed her index finger over Annie’s mouth to silence her. 

“Shhh,” She shook her head, “I don’t wanna hear anymore about it,” Her words came out as a jumbled mess, “We’re not gonna be all deep and mushy anymore tonight, that never helps anyone.” 

“It doesn’t?” Annie asked, admittedly she had no idea how this worked, all she had was a lifetime of romcom knowledge and as it appeared, that wasn’t going to get her anywhere. 

Annie had never realised just how in experienced the had been when it came to sex and relationships, until she started sleeping with Jeff, and as she now knew she had a lot to learn about ending relationships too. 

She wondered just how little life experience she could really have. One thing was for sure, this year she was going to make sure she experienced life, in a plethora of different ways. 

“God no, Annie,” Britta replied, the sound of her husky, drunken voice pulled the brunette out of her musings, she shook her head slowly, “I am going to teach you how to do a breakup and get over a man the Britta Perry way… the right way.”

“It’s not a real breakup, Jeff and I were never actually together. How can you breakup with someone if you were never even a couple?” Annie asked. 

Britta rolled her eyes and groaned quietly, “Fine then, I am going to teach you how to get over a fuck buddy properly, it’s all the same thing,” she pushed herself up from where she was laid and walked over to her laptop, pulling up one of her most played iTunes playlists, “This playlist has gotten me through _a lot_ of breakups, Annie, so much so that this playlist is called, The Freedom Years, because I only listen to it when I’m free from a man and can start doing stuff for me again.”

“Are you really trying to explanabrag about the amount of breakups you’ve had?” Annie chuckled furrowing her eyebrows at the older woman who had started to dance around the room to Billy Joel’s _My Life._

Britta nodded her head and smiled, “Damn right I am, and one day you will, too. When you have your own Freedom Years Playlist,” She shrugged, “These things are inevitable, so are the Freedom Years, and do you know when they start?”

Annie sighed, already sure that she knew the answer to Britta’s question, but humouring her anyway, “When?” She asked, a small smile tugging at her lips, as she watched Britta dancing, without a care in the world. 

“Right now, Edison, so I don’t wanna see anymore tears, I don’t wanna hear anymore ‘I’m an idiot’ or anything like that, because men really aren’t worth it. All I wanna hear is you singing with me,” She shrugged before belting the chorus out at the top of her lungs, more off key than usual, but definitely not giving a damn about how she sounded, “ _I_ _don’t need you to worry for me cause I’m alright, I don’t want you to tell me it’s time to come home. I don’t care what you say anymore this is my life. Go ahead with your own life leave me alone!”_

Annie couldn’t help but smile as the older woman danced her way over to her and pulled her to her feet, making her dance with her, she’d never admit it to any one else, but this was the first time in a long time that Annie Edison, really hadn’t cared what anyone else thought of her. 

* * *

After more drinking, dancing, and singing their hearts out to Britta’s, admittedly amazing, Freedom Years playlist, the two women had once again found themselves sitting on Britta’s bed. 

Annie brought the bottle of beer up to her mouth and took a long gulp of it, she’d admit that she didn’t much like the taste of beer that Britta always seemed to stock her fridge with, but it was definitely helping her get over the events of the night. 

The sound of Destiny’s Child’s _Survivor_ played in the background, and Annie had no other choice but to admit that the playlist definitely had the right name for it. Most of these songs made her feel unstoppable and like a huge weight had been lifted from her chest. 

She figured that it had something to do with the egg shells that she and Jeff had been walking on around each other for several weeks now. She hadn’t realised it before, but she had felt so heavy for so long. The stress of working so hard to not relapse, piled on top of the stress of college and being so driven to get good grades, so she could get her masters degree, and eventually get a good job would have been enough for anyone. But then she had to go and add a relationship to that, a relationship that had been doomed from the start. 

The alcohol had lowered her inhibitions, Britta had made her feel comfortable enough to open up to her over just about anything, and the music had done just as Britta had intended it to. It had helped her feel better, and free and had made her smile from ear to ear. 

That was until her phone buzzed, her heart lurching forwards slightly, even if she hadn’t said anything to Britta, she had been hoping that Jeff would text her. Not to change his mind, or to change things between them, she definitely wasn’t going to go crawling back, or even take him back. Britta had made her feel better about things being over with him, and had really put things into perspective for her. But still, she had been hopeful that he would text, simply because she wanted to have the upper hand. 

Annie liked to win, everyone knew that. She was competitive and a sore loser, she never even tried to hide it, or tried to save face. She wasn’t ashamed of that side of her and would gladly admit that she needed to win more than wanted to. Even though she knew no one could ever truly win a breakup, it was still nice to at least come out on top, even if only for one night. 

She glanced at her phone and could see out of the corner of her eye that Britta had too, she went to reach for it before shaking her head and taking a deep breath to compose herself. 

“You can read it if you want to,” Britta told her, “There is nothing wrong with doing that, it’s a natural curiosity. I’m not going to be mad if you read it, or even reply to him.”

Annie gave her a tight lipped smile before reading the message from the older man. 

**From Jeff: Annie, I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am… again, I know that this text could have been sent to you sooner tonight but I didn’t want to bother you and I didn’t know what to say. But you have to believe me when I say that I am sorry and that I care about you so much.**

Annie sighed and began to type out a response before deleting it and throwing her phone down onto the bed, “What’s wrong?” Britta asked, turning her attention away from the small tin in front of her to look at the dark haired woman. 

“It’s just an apology text, but it says what I already know,” She shrugged, “I don’t have anything to say to him," she watched as the older woman lit the joint and took a drag of it, tilting her head backwards as she exhaled the grey cloud of smoke. 

She couldn't help but think that Britta looked somewhat dignified while smoking, perhaps even classy. She wondered if everyone looked this way, or if you just had to be a certain type of person, like Britta. 

She wondered if she was the type of person that could look classy when smoking. 

Britta sighed and tilted her head slightly, “At the risk of sounding too much like Michael Jackson, Annie, are you okay?” She asked, her voice pulling Annie away from her thoughts. 

Annie gave a light chuckle at Britta's joke, “ Yeah, I’m okay.”

“Are you sure? I mean, you seem sort of… distracted.” 

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I’m totally fine, just doing some thinking,” She admitted. 

“Oh, okay,” Britta placed the joint back in her mouth and took a couple of small inhalations before turning back to face Annie, who was now staring at her lips and the joint. 

Britta arched an eyebrow at her and pursed her lips before shifting her body slightly to face Annie. 

“Do you want some?” Britta asked, holding the joint out to the younger woman, she watched as Annie’s eyes seemed to widen just slightly, as she looked between the blonde, and the small object in her hand. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to. I won’t think any less of you if you say no.” 

She knew that Britta meant it, that she definitely wouldn’t judge her if she refused, because that’s what Britta was like; she didn’t pressure people into anything that they didn’t want to do. 

But this was something that Annie actually found herself curious about. 

She had never smoked before, be that a normal cigarette or pot, she had never even wanted to smoke before; she’d never seen the appeal of it. But now, for some reason, that night it seemed like the best idea in the world. Even if she was nervous about it. 

Annie shakily took the joint from Britta’s hand before bringing it to her lips, and taking a long drag on it, she quickly pulled it away from her mouth and began coughing. Britta chuckled before patting her on the back, helping her clear her lungs. 

“You don’t have to take such deep breaths, that doesn’t actually help, at all,” She explained, “If you take really long deep breaths like that, it’s not the pot that makes you light headed, it's the loss of air to your lungs.” 

Annie furrowed her eyebrows at the older woman before trying again, this time taking with a much shorter breath, handling the slight burn in her lungs a little better than she had done before. 

“I’m over it, y’know?” Annie asked. 

“Over what?”

“Being with guys like Jeff, y’know the brooding bad-boy type. I am totally over it. It’s so cliche and over played.”

Britta nodded her head, “It is, and you say that now, but it’s in our biology as women to go after men like that. We’re programmed to try and attain the unattainable.” 

“What’s wrong with us?” 

“Nothing, we’re just girls,” Britta replied with a shrug, “And we can’t help doing stereotypical, girly things sometimes. You fell for an emotionally closed off, stunted man child, just like so many amazing women before you, and just like many after you will.” 

Annie chuckled before taking another drag on the joint and handing it back to Britta, “He really is a man child, isn’t he?”

“The biggest,” Britta replied, placing the joint in her mouth and taking three, quick inhalations before offering it back to the younger woman, smiling when Annie happily accepted it. 

“Can I ask you a question?” Annie asked, before taking a hit of the joint, “And you don’t have to answer this if you don’t want to… but was Jeff ever a little closed off in bed with you?”

Annie didn’t know if any answer to that question would make her feel better, she hadn’t ever wanted to think too much about Britta’s relationship with Jeff, but now, for her own sanity, she needed to know if he was closed off with everyone or just her. 

“A little?” Britta asked, “I have never been with anyone as emotionally distant as Jeff Winger in my whole life… and I’ll admit this to _you_ , Annie, I have been with _a lot_ of men… and I mean a lot, and not one of them was ever as cold as Jeff was.” 

Annie sighed, “Oh thank god,” She replied, taking in the look on Britta’s face, “No, I mean, that sucks for you and you really don’t deserve that, but I thought maybe it was me and that I was doing something wrong.”

She felt a lot more confident around Britta than she ever had before, she didn’t know if it was because of their joint experiences with Jeff, the drugs, the alcohol, or a combination of all three of those things. But she did know that she really liked it. 

“It’s not just you, I can’t imagine you doing anything wrong ever. But I’ll be honest, it does make me feel a little better knowing that it wasn’t just me,” She admitted with a small shrug, taking the joint back from Annie, “I don’t get him, at all. Like he never even made eye contact with me, what was that about? Scared I was gonna turn you into stone, Jeff?”

Annie laughed and nodded her head, taking another sip of her beer, “I know right, it’s like look at me or let’s not even bother doing this, don’t get me wrong I don’t need _constant_ eye contact but don’t just look at the wall behind me.” 

“The least he could do is try doggy style,” Britta rolled her eyes, “I asked him for months and it never happened, you’d think for a man who hates eye contact so much that it would be his dream position, but nooooo.” 

“I have no idea what goes on in that man’s head, and in all honesty I am not sure what i want to know,” Annie shrugged, taking another sip of her beer. 

“I honestly think that it would be terrifying knowing what Jeff is thinking.” 

* * *

It had been an interesting night, not like their usual girl’s nights hanging out with Shirley, drinking coffee or hot tea and talking about her children. No this one had been filled with so much laughter, hardly any inhibitions, singing, and dancing. Lots of dancing. She didn’t know much about breakups, but even she knew that Britta was an expert at getting people to forget about the hurt and troubles that came with them and for that she was highly grateful. 

She couldn’t be sure of what time it was, or how much they had actually drank, she couldn’t even tell what songs Britta was playing anymore, in fact, the last thought that she remembered registered in her high, and drunk mind was a thought that had entered her head quite a few times that night. 

_Yes, the world definitely be a better place, if more people like Britta Perry existed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and hope that everyone still seems in character. Again this is my first Community fic.


	3. Got to Pick Myself up

**The title for this chapter came from the song Get Over It by McBusted**

* * *

**Got to Pick Myself Up**

When Annie woke up the first things that she noticed were the splitting pain that rested in her head and the dryness of her mouth. The second thing that she noticed was the apartment she was in did not belong to her, or even Jeff for that matter. 

She sat up slowly, groaning as the pain her head intensified with even the smallest of movements that she made. She narrowed her eyes slightly at the familiar blonde woman sitting not too far away from her, watching her closely as she clutched a cup of coffee in her hands.

“Good morning, Janis Joplin,” Britta teased as she took in the sight of a dishevelled looking Annie; her make-up was smudged all across her face, her usually neat, straight hair was wild and bushy, and her face was slightly blotchy from the crying she had done the night before. It was a way that none of them had ever seen her look before, and a way that she had hoped no one ever would, even Jeff had never seen her looking like this; she had always made sure she was up, and dressed with a full face of make-up before he even woke up. 

“Can I come back to life first and then tell you how I feel?” She croaked, her voice rough and hoarse from the loud singing, shouting, possibly crying, and drinking. She looked around the room slowly, the studio apartment seemed a lot smaller that morning. 

Her eyes fell onto her discarded dress, light blue sweater, and shoes that were tossed haphazardly to the floor, just in front of Britta’s bathroom door. 

She looked up from the clothing and back to Britta, she couldn’t remember taking her clothes off, never mind leaving them laid around on the floor so unorganised. She had never intended on staying at Britta’s apartment that night, she had simply needed someone to talk to and Britta had been the person she’d picked to get everything off her chest. 

But then Britta had brought out the alcohol and from there, Annie knew that things had headed south. She gave Britta a questioning look, her heart rate increasing when she saw Britta turn her mouth down slightly. 

“Let’s just say that last night, you got really excited when Christina Aguilera’s _Dirrty_ came on my playlist, and I mean like, really excited. You, Annie Edison can put on quite the show,” She explained with a teasing smile, “I never knew you had those moves in you. You’re going to make someone a _very_ lucky man someday.” 

Annie groaned quietly before speaking, “Did you get naked too?” She asked, not knowing what she would prefer to hear as Britta’s answer. There was a very small voice inside her head that hoped the older woman would tell her yes, they had both gotten naked last night. 

Britta shook her head slowly, “No. No, I did not, that was just you… and I think the dance was for me, I mean, you told me to ‘watch this’,” She replied with a small smile tugging at her lips, “Besides you didn’t get totally naked,” She explained, “You just did a little bit of a strip tease and danced around in your underwear for me,” She shrugged, “At that point I knew that it was time to put you in some pyjamas and put you in bed.” 

“You did?” 

“Yeah,” Britta nodded her head, “I could tell that it had gotten to a stage of the night where you’d drank too much, or at least I thought you had, so I put you in some pyjamas, made you drink a lot of water, and then made you go to sleep. But you didn’t need much convincing to sleep, you were pretty much out as soon as your head hit the pillow.” 

Annie let out another groan and dropped her head into her hands, shaking it slowly, “I don’t even remember any of this,” She admitted, the night was a total blur to her now and she could only remember the events of what had happened up to a certain point. 

She remembered leaving Jeff’s apartment and heading to Britta’s, she could remember the small and much needed pep talk that Britta had given her, and she could remember the second bottle of wine, and first two beers, after that everything was gone, with little bits slipping in and out of her mind in a hazy fog, never meaning much to her, and none of them being linear to each other.

She was sure that she preferred it that way, the less she knew about what she did when she was _that_ drunk the better. She didn’t need or want to hear any more stories about her stripper antics. 

Annie lifted her head slowly and sighed, “Just how much did we actually drink last night?” 

Britta shrugged her shoulders half-heartedly, “I don’t actually know,” She admitted, “A lot; we had two bottles of wine, some beers, some shots… oh and you smoked some weed with me… quite a lot of that, too.” 

“Oh my god,” Annie groaned, “I always made myself the promise that I would never do drugs because of what happened to me in high school,” She admitted, taking a deep breath, trying to calm herself down as she locked eyes with the older woman, “I actually hate myself right now.” 

“What? Don’t hate yourself,” Britta said, moving to join the younger woman on the bed, wrapping her arm around Annie’s waist, “We all do some really stupid stuff from time to time… especially when we’re drunk and sad.” 

Annie dropped her head onto Britta’s shoulder, “But I don’t do stupid things, and last night that’s apparently all I did?” She asked, “I cried over Jeff, I got black our drunk, I stripped for you, and I did drugs,” She mumbled, never lifting her head from the blonde’s shoulder. 

“Annie, doing stuff like that is all just part of growing up. I have done way worse things than what you did last night. And when I did those things I was out and drunk in public, not just in my friends apartment.” 

Annie sighed, lifting her head from Britta’s shoulder and giving her a disbelieving look, “Really? What could you possibly have done that’s worse than what I did last night?” 

“Well, there was this one night I went out with some old friends from high school and I was really drunk and high, I decided to dance around on a pool table in the middle of a crowded bar, and at that moment I thought that it would be a good idea to get my boobs out. And when I say boobs, I mean _boobs_ , no shirt, no bra, just boobs.” 

Annie gave a small chuckle before sighing, “So you don’t think that I am a total idiot after everything that happened last night?” She asked hopefully. 

“Oh no, you definitely were an idiot,” Britta replied with a small nod. 

“Gee, thanks,” Annie said, her tone dry and the look in her blue eyes disheartened. 

“But we’re all a little stupid from time to time. Especially when we’re young and trying to get over someone. So you really shouldn’t worry about anything that you did last night. Plus, no one knows other than me.” 

“I guess that makes me feel a little better,” Annie mumbled, “Promise me that you won’t tell anyone about what happened last night?” She asked, holding out her pinky finger, and giving Britta a hopeful look. 

The older woman nodded her head before linking her pink finger with Annie, “I promise that I won’t tell anyone anything.” 

“Thank you… again.” 

There was a beat of silence before Britta pushed herself up from where she had been sitting and smiled at the younger woman, “Come on you, get up,” She instructed, “I am taking you out for some breakfast.” 

“Why?” 

“Because, you still look like you could use some cheering up,” Britta replied with a soft smile, “That and I am super hungry right now and I need to go to the grocery store later. So right now there’s actually no food for us in this apartment right now.” 

“Can’t you go alone and leave me here in this apartment to die?” Annie deadpanned. 

“Wow, dramatic much,” Britta chuckled, “I am not leaving you alone. I said that I was going to help you get over this thing and I mean that, plus I am the whole reason you feel so rough this morning, I feel like it’s only right that I get you over your hangover, too. So I am buying you breakfast and a very strong coffee.” 

“I don’t have any clothes here, and I really don’t feel like wearing what I was yesterday to go and get breakfast this morning.” 

“So borrow some of mine, I am sure that I have something that will fit you,” Britta shrugged, “Annie you’re really not going to get out of going to breakfast with me, so you might as well stop trying.” 

Annie rolled her eyes and pushed herself up out of Britta’s bed, almost falling back into it straight away as a wave of dizziness hit her. She sat back down, took a deep breath and turned her attention to Britta, “On second thoughts, can you just surprise me with something?” She asked. 

Britta laughed and nodded her head slowly, “Yeah I’ve been there before, don’t worry I’ll find you something to wear, just make yourself at home.” 

Annie could already tell that she was in for a _very_ long day. 

* * *

After showering quickly and dressing in the outfit that Britta had pulled out for her, (black skinny jeans, a plain grey t-shirt, and some converse sneakers), the blonde woman had driven them to a nearby greasy spoon diner.

The bright lights of the establishment burned Annie’s eyes, and the smell of the grease coming from the kitchen gave her a heavy nauseous feeling in the pit of her stomach, she had no idea why Britta thought this was a good idea when she was this hungover.

She sat with her arms on the table and her head in her hands, trying her hardest to keep the nausea at bay while Britta ordered them both pancakes, bacon, and strong black coffees.

As the words tumbled out of Britta’s mouth, even the sound of the food made Annie gag, she couldn’t imagine actually putting any of it into her body.

“You don’t mind that I ordered for you, do you?” She asked, “I just know that when I am hungover pancakes and bacon are the best thing in the world. The grease really helps. I don’t know why, it just does.”

“No, I don’t mind,” Annie sighed, “I doubt I’ll be able to eat any of it anyway,” She mumbled as she lifted her head from her hands with a heavy sigh. She gave Britta a soft apologetic smile, “Thank you for doing all of this for me.”

Britta shrugged, “That’s what friends are for, right?” She asked, there was a beat of silence before she spoke again, “How are you feeling about the whole, you and Jeff thing today?”

“Honestly, I don’t even know,” She admitted, “I’m not as sad as I was last night, but I do have a heavy feeling in my stomach that isn’t just from the drinking… I think half of the issue last night was that I felt really dumb for catching feelings. I can’t explain how I feel, would I call it heart break? I don’t know, but I just feel like I wasted so much of my time on him, I am never going to get those fourteen months back. I could have spent them with someone who at least wanted the same things I do.”

“That makes sense,” Britta replied, “Jeff and I weren’t even sleeping together that long and I still felt dumb when stuff ended. But Annie I need you to remember that fourteen months really isn’t that long. Not in the grand scheme of things. You’re only twenty. It’s not like you spent the best part of your life with someone and can’t get those _years_ back. You’re young, hot, smart, funny, and just so many more great things. Any guy would be lucky to date you. Don’t worry about wasting your time on people. You have all the time in the world. Your twenties are when you’re supposed to figure this stuff out.”

“Really?”

Britta nodded her head, “Absolutely, you’re just about to start your third year of college, you’re a matter of months away from being twenty-one, and you look the way you do. If you don’t enjoy these freedom years now, you’re going to regret it.”

“What if I don’t want freedom years, what if I want to settle down and start a life.”

“Annie you need to stop focusing so hard on the future, you can still settle down and have a life with someone, but you need to use what you’ve got while you’re still young enough to enjoy it. Picture this, you stay with Jeff, by the time you’re twenty-five he’s forty-one, so what, you start having kids while he’s still gonna have the energy to look after them? Because if you wait any longer, until you’re in your thirties, Jeff will be nearly fifty, which means by the time your kids go off to college you’ll be in your fifties, but Jeff is nearly seventy?” She asked.

“I guess.”

“And is that the life you want? You get the kids off to college, you want to go traveling and start having adventures, but Jeff is too old? Or you have kids really young and lose that time to travel while you’re young just so Jeff isn’t seventy when your kids go to college? Really think about it Annie, is that really the kind of life you want?”

She shook her head slowly, “No, I guess not.”

“Exactly, you have time for settling down and having kids in the future, but right now, focus on you. I mean, you left high school, went straight into rehab, came to college met Jeff and started having a fling with him, shortly after I did, have you ever had time to think about yourself, to really think about what you want?”

“No, I haven’t,” Annie admitted, she had never thought about it that way before, her life had moved quickly since leaving Riverside High, but she had thought she was ready for the next step as they came to her. The more she thought about what Britta was saying to her, the more she realised it was true. “I have just always focused on my future seriously, I already had the next fifteen years of my life planned out, most of which revolves around education and grades,” She took a deep breath, “Maybe I won’t completely change that, but I am going to focus on me, and what’s happening now and what’s right in front of me. I don’t need to have everything mapped out, or to be with someone.”

“Nope, if you can’t be happy by yourself, and realise that you don’t need someone else to make you happy, you’re always going to be dependant on someone, and trust me that is now way to live, I have been there and done that and I am not going there again. Look at me, I am almost thirty-one, and I have no idea what I am doing in my life or what is happening next, I’m not out looking for a relationship because I am happy in my own company.”

“You are, aren’t you?” Annie asked.

“Yeah, I know that I am fine with being alone, so if I meet someone and it doesn’t work out, I might be sad for a while, but I am content with being me and having time alone. I like my own company, and if you can get to that stage too, you’re going to be a lot happy. So, live for yourself, you have no one to answer to but you. You’re not tied to someone, if you want to drive across the Western states just for the hell of it no one can stop you.”

“You’re totally right,” Annie replied with a soft smile, “I have always wanted to be more like you Britta, and I guess that I just never really knew how to be until now,” She admitted, “I want to get to a point in my life where I can be happy alone, and where I can say that I have had adventures and lived life. I am sick of playing things so safe all the time.” There was a beat of silence before Annie spoke again, “Screw it,” There was a finality to her voice, that made a smile creep along Britta’s face. “Annie Edison’s freedom years start right now.”

* * *

“Y’know, when you said that you wanted to take me somewhere after breakfast, I was expecting something a little more exciting than this,” Annie grumbled as she and Britta made their way towards the grocery store.

She guessed that she should have known better, if Britta had told her this was were they were actually going, she would have asked to be taken back to Britta’s place so that she could get her car and head home instead.

“Well now you know,” Britta replied, “I did tell you this morning I had to go grocery shopping, and I really didn’t want to have to do this alone.”

“So, what, you thought you’d drag me here when I’m hungover and feeling like shit?”

“Yeah, I’m Britta; I’m the worst,” She joked with a small, half-hearted shrug.

Annie rolled her eyes, “You’re definitely not the worst,” She admitted, “I mean you’re definitely not as cool as I was starting to think you were, but you’re not the worst… you might be slightly above average, though.”

“Yes, Britta for the win,” She chuckled, a bright smile forming on her face as she turned to Annie, “Anyway, you can carry this,” she handed the younger woman her shopping list, while she began to push the cart, “All I need you to do is read from the list. If I don’t follow it, I know that I’ll just buy useless crap I don’t need,” She explained.

“Okay,” Annie nodded her head as she took the listen from Britta.

They walked around in an easy silence, until Britta spoke up, “So are you looking forward to being back at Greendale on Monday?” She asked. 

Annie could tell it was just small talk, not that they needed it, she was perfectly happy being around Britta and being silent, they had long since passed the stages of awkward silences, after all, they’d been friends for almost two years now. But still, she would be lying if she said that she didn’t appreciate the older woman’s efforts. 

“Uh, yeah, I guess so,” She admitted, “Don’t get me wrong, I have loved summer vacation, and it was great getting to spend time with you guys outside of college, but it will be nice to be back.” 

Britta nodded her head slowly, “Yeah I get what you mean, I have never really cared much about education, or school, I mean you know that I dropped out of high school when I was younger, but there is something about Greendale that always makes me look forward to going back.” 

Annie smiled, “Because, it’s Greendale and as much as people wanna talk badly about it, it’s actually a really great place to be, and they offer some great classes.” 

“I don’t know if I would call it great,” Britta replied with a chuckle, “I like it, but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.” There was a small beat of silence before Britta widened her eyes and looked at Annie, “Speaking of going back to Greendale I need to get some stationary, too.” 

“You don’t have all that yet?” 

Britta shook her head slowly and scoffed, “No.” 

“We go back to college next week, how do you not already have everything you need?” 

“Oh like you have _everything_ ,” Britta rolled her eyes. 

“I do,” Annie replied, “I bought them almost straight away, and I made Jeff buy his too,” She admitted, his name catching just slightly in her throat, she had cared so much that Jeff was prepared for this year, making sure he had all of the books he needed for classes, making sure that he had notebooks- college ruled, of course- pens, pencils, highlighters, everything Annie could think he might need, she made sure that he had it. 

“Would you mind helping me get everything I need after I’m done here?” She asked sheepishly, her mouth turning down just slightly as she waited for Annie’s response. 

Annie nodded her head and widened her eyes slightly, “Yeah definitely,” She replied, a little too quickly and enthusiastically for her liking, “I’m sorry, I just really like going shopping for stationary, it’s kind of a guilty pleasure of mine… well actually no, I don’t even feel guilty about it, I just like it.” 

Britta smiled and shook her head slowly, “Well, I guess we all have something we enjoy.” 

* * *

Once they had finished Britta’s grocery shopping, they had found themselves in a store for stationary, surrounded by moody teenagers and stressed out mother’s trying to get their kids to be interested enough to get their back to school items. 

In their little scenario, Britta had definitely been the less enthusiastic shopper, while Annie had recommended types of pens, backpacks, pencil cases, highlight pens, and anything else she could think of. 

Britta had done her best to nod her head, trying her hardest to humour Annie and her excitement, she would admit, it was quite cute how excited Annie was to be shopping for stationary and other such supplies. 

She would admit, the dark hard woman definitely knew what she was talking about, she couldn’t help but wonder, if like everything else, Annie had researched the different brands and types of stationary the store had to offer, it definitely wouldn't surprise her if she had. 

“Okay, I think that’s everything you’ll need,” Annie smiled as she gave everything in the cart another look over, going through her mental checklist as she looked at every item she had told Britta to buy. “Do you already have your books for classes, or do you need to get those too, because we can go get them?” 

A small smile tugged at Britta’s lips, “You really care, don’t you?” 

“What?” Annie asked. 

“You really care about all of us, and all of this, don’t you?” Britta asked, her dark blue eyes softening as she looked at the younger woman. 

“Of course, I care,” Annie shrugged her shoulders, “Why is it annoying?” 

Britta shook her head slowly, “It’s not a bad thing, at all, it’s actually really endearing,” She admitted, “I’ve never had anyone care this much about my education before.” 

“Of course, I care, we’re friends, Britta and I really want you to succeed, that and it’s a control, organisational thing,” She admitted with a small shrug. 

Britta smiled, “No. It’s an Annie thing,” Her words made a small smile appear on Annie’s face, as the older woman began to push the cart in the direction of the checkout, “Come on, let’s get this stuff bought and then we can get home.” 

* * *

Annie found herself back at Britta’s apartment for a movie day. Britta had tried her hardest to find movies that she hoped would make Annie feel better; she’d done her best to avoid picking movies with romantic plots in them, but had soon found out that most movies, whether it was relevant or not, had some sort of love story in them. 

Annie hadn’t minded, she’d been too busy trying not to throw up at random points of the day, she’d never been hungover before, and from how she felt now, she never wanted to be in this state again. 

They had just finished the fifth, and in Annie’s opinion, worst movie pd the day when the younger woman reached for her phone, to see three texts from Abed and two texts and a missed call from Troy, she widened her eyes as she saw the time at the top of her screen, she hadn’t realised just how much time she had spent with Britta, and just how long it had been since she’d had any contact with her roommates. 

“Uh, I don't want you to think I’m not having fun or anything because that’s not the case, but I really should get going,” Annie said as she pushed herself up from her seat, her headache dissipated and the nauseous feeling finally leaving her stomach. “I didn’t realise what time it was.”

“You don’t have to go, you could always stay here another night,” Britta offered. 

“I would but I’ve missed some texts and calls from Troy and Abed, and when it gets to the point it usually means they’re struggling or they’re worrying. If I don’t go home now who knows if I’ll even have a home to get back to.” 

Britta chuckled and shut off the TV, “Yeah I really don’t envy you at all. I’d hate to think about the stuff that Troy and Abed get up to when no one is around to supervise them.” 

“I’ll let you in on a secret about them,” Annie replied, “They play these dumb games, and what even dumber movies. They leave all the housework to me and live off of buttered noodles because it’s the only thing they know how to make. That’s what they get up to when none of you are around.” 

“Oh my god,” Britta chuckled, “You’re a single mom with two kids,” She teased, “Now I get why you want a man so badly, you just want to find a daddy for your sons,” Annie gave her an unamused look, “Hey, I’m not judging you. I think it’s sweet.” 

“Very funny,” Annie replied, a small smile edging its way onto her mouth, “Besides, I don’t need a man. Me and my two sons will be just fine without one.” 

Britta nodded her head slowly, “Yes you will. Now please go home to your children before they kill themselves trying to function without you.” 

“I’ll see you Monday,” Annie replied, “Can’t wait to get back into the swing of things and study biology,” she replied with a weak smile. 

Britta stepped forwards and pulled her in for a hug, “You’ll be fine, and if not you know where I am, and that goes for tonight too,” She pulled away and smiled at the younger woman, “Call me anytime you need me.” 

“I really appreciate that,” Annie smiled at Britta, the air around them falling silent, her phone buzzing in her hand snapped Annie’s attention away from the older woman, she looked down at her screen to see another text from Abed. 

**From Abed: Are you with Jeff? Did you get lost? Are you dead?**

She rolled her eyes and typed out a quick response. 

**To Abed: No, no and again no. I will be home soon.**

“Are your sons missing their mommy?” 

“Yes, so I really do have to go now. I’ll see you on Monday,” Annie replied before grabbing her clothes from the night before and heading to the door, “Oh and I’ll just get these back to you then too,” Annie motioned to the clothes she was wearing. 

“Oh yeah, just get them back to me whenever.” 

Annie smiled before heading back down into the main entrance of the apartment building and heading straight back to her car. 

Unlike last night, this time her car journey is spent singing along to upbeat pop songs, and a smile on her face that seemed almost relentless. 

* * *

As soon as Annie stepped through the door of the apartment, Abed and Troy appeared in front of her, their eyes scanning over her before landing on the clothing in her hands, Troy quirked an eyebrow at her as she moved past them. 

Abed followed her around the apartment, “Where’ve you been all day?” Abed asked, “I know you haven’t been with Jeff because you said you hadn’t, but yesterday you said you were going to Jeff’s. Did you lie to me today or yesterday? 

“I didn’t lie any of the days,” Annie replied, “Yesterday after we all hung out I went to Jeff’s, but today I haven’t been with Jeff.” 

She felt his dark eyes scan over the length of her body once more, “Why are you dressed like Britta?” Abed asked, “I don’t like this look on you. It’s not right.” 

“I’m wearing Britta’s clothes because I stayed at her place last night,” She explained, “Jeff and I ended things and I didn’t want to be alone in my room, nor did I want to bother either of you with my stupid girl problems. So I went to Britta’s place and we got pretty drunk so I just stayed there. But because it was impulsive I didn’t have any spare clothes with me, so she let me borrow some of hers, and we’ve spent the whole day together.” 

“Wait, you ended things with Jeff?” Troy asked, concern filling his dark eyes, “Is everything okay?” He sat down slowly and looked up at where Annie stood.

Annie nodded her head slowly, “Yeah, everything is fine, or at least it will be. We both just wanted different things in the end,” She shrugged, “But really don't worry, Britta made me feel a lot better about the whole thing. I actually feel good about my decision to end it.” 

“Well you don’t look good,” Abed replied bluntly, looking between his two friends, noting their wide eyes and slightly agape mouths. “Your hair is messier than usual, you don’t have any make-up on, you look tired, and like I said, you’re not dressed like you and I don’t like it.” 

“Well I feel fine,” Annie replied, “Or at least I did, what you just said really hurt my feelings Abed,” Annie pouted walking into the living room area and dropping onto one of the comfy chairs. 

“I’m sorry,” Abed shrugged, “I didn’t mean to upset you, it was merely an observation, you said that you felt fine, but I couldn’t help but notice you don’t look fine. From that I can only assume that you’re lying about how you feel.” 

“You still can’t say things like that to people, Abed,” Annie told him, her voice raising a few octaves as she chastised the taller man, “So I’d appreciate it if next time you think I look bad you just didn’t say anything.” 

“Okay,” Abed replied, nodding his head and sitting down in the chair next to Annie's. 

“What have you guys been up to today?” She asked, looking around the slightly messy apartment, knowing that whatever they had done all day definitely hadn’t involved cleaning, and that most of her night would. 

“We were playing in the Dreamatorium,” Abed replied, “Today we were fighting vampires, and saving the world from the end of days,” He smiled before saying, “Troy was Giles and I was Buffy.” 

“Oh that sounds…” Annie trailed off, trying her hardest not to invalidate their of fun, even if it didn’t match her own, she racked her brain for the right word to use before settling on “Interesting.” 

Abed nodded his head enthusiastically, “Yeah, you should play with us sometime,” He smiled at her, “If you play I won’t need to be Buffy, because you can be,” He grinned, “I can be Xander or Angel.” 

She would admit, the last time she had been in the Dreamatorium with Tory and Abed she’d had fun, but she always put that down to the company rather than the activity, as much as she loved living with the two men, sometimes, they did things she just didn’t get, or enjoy as much as they did. 

“Yeah… maybe,” She replied. 

* * *

After changing out of Britta’s clothes and into some of her own pyjamas, Annie set to cleaning the apartment while Abed and Troy once again found themselves in the dreamatorium, she could hear them through the door, their volume raising intermittently. 

She had been asked to join them for an exciting game of _Buffy The Vampire Slayer_ , and had briefly considered it, that was until she took another look around the apartment and realised just how untidy it actually was. 

She had thrown her hair up into a messy ponytail and had set to work, washing all the plates, cups, and cutlery they had used since yesterday morning; she would never know how they could leave things like this and not feel the need to clean them. 

She dreaded to think how they would live if she wasn’t around. 

When she first moved in she hadn’t thought life would be like this. 

She had thought life with Troy and Abed would be fun, exciting, and filled with laughter, like most of their friendship had been, but lately, she was finding there were some things about Troy and Abed that frustrated her to no avail. 

As she thought back to the beginning of summer, when the three of them had decided to move in together, Britta had warned her about this, she had tried to warn her that when you live with someone, the small irritating things you have never noticed before really start to show. 

Pierce, Shirley, and Jeff had never warned her of such things, they had been silently supportive of the three youngest members of their friendship group. If anything, the three of them had just been happy that Annie was finally moving out of her apartment above Dildopolis. 

None of them had liked the thought of any living alone in such a dangerous and rough neighbourhood. Jeff had been the one to go apartment hunting with Troy, Annie, and Abed; though admittedly, most of the apartment hunting had been done by Annie, with Troy and Abed saying yes to most places they saw. 

Eventually they had settled on a two bed apartment; though one of the bedrooms had quickly been turned into the Dreamatorium, Annie got the other bedroom, Troy and Abed had been more than happy to create a blanket fort to serve as their bedroom. 

Despite how annoying they could be at times, and how frustrating it was to be the youngest, yet only functioning adult in the house, Annie loved living with Troy and Abed, and was so thankful that she had been able to move out of her old apartment. 

Waking up to the noise coming from the Dreamatorium early in the morning was definitely a lot better than waking up in the middle of the night to the announcements of Dildopolis’s latest sale. 

* * *

She had never ever seen the appeal of horror movies, not even the older, more cheesy movies. She wasn’t sure she ever would see the appeal of them. There was something about the dim lighting, the chaotic musical scores, and the camera angles that made her feel more than just as a little uneasy. While she knew that was the whole point of scary movies, she didn’t like the feeling they gave her, and she couldn’t understand those that did. 

That was one of the hardest things about living with two movie buffs, who were fans of pretty much any genre. There were a lot of nights when they would decide to watch a movie and Troy or Abed would pick a horror. 

Annie always hated it, but she would still take part in their roommate movie nights, simply to be involved and spend time with two of her best friends, as she lost herself in the world of _An American Werewolf in London_ , she couldn’t help but wish that she had taken Britta up on her offer of spending another night there. 

The day she’d had with Britta; breakfast, grocery and stationery shopping, and watching a collection of comedy movies had been a great day, even if not by everyone’s standards, she’d be lying if she said she hadn’t had fun. 

She would much rather be at Britta’s now talking about anything than watching this movie, as the full moon appeared on screen, Abed leaned forwards slightly, a smile appearing on his face, “This is one of my favourite scenes of any horror movie ever,” He admitted, “Just watch how amazing it is.” 

Annie furrowed her eyebrows as she watched the first transitioning scene unfold before her eyes, she kept glancing from the screen to Abed, wondering how this could be one of his favourite horror movie scenes. 

It left her feeling uncomfortable and confused for so many reasons, from the main character taking all of his clothes off, to the sound of his agonising screams, and the actual bodily transition itself. 

As Annie focused harder on the screen, trying to figure out what Abed found so appealing about it, her phone buzzed beside her, startling her and making a small gasp escape her body. 

She placed a hand over her chest, feeling her heart pounding against her ribcage as her breathing picked up, “Annie calm down it’s just your phone,” Troy nodded in the direction of the phone on the table. 

Annie nodded her head slowly as she leaned over to check her phone, a small smile forming on her face when she saw the familiar name on her screen, she hadn’t been expecting Britta to contact her so soon, but she definitely appreciated the distraction. 

**From Britta: Hey. Just checking in to see how you’re feeling now, I know that last night and today weren’t the best for you. But I want you to know that I am here for you any time you need me.**

Britta had said it to her countless times the night before, and all through the day, but still Annie was shocked to see that the older woman had a genuine concern for her, and just as Britta couldn’t believe that Annie cared so much about her education, Annie couldn’t believe that she had a friend, who genuinely cared so much about her.

A small smile pulled at her lips as she tapped out her reply.

**To Britta: I’m okay. Or at least I will be. You were right with what you said earlier, I do need to think about me and just be me for a while. Thank you for everything today. I really needed it, and I really appreciate it.**

As she sent the message and thought back to the time she had spent with the older woman last night, and all that day, she realised that Britta Perry was definitely not the worst. 


End file.
